God: Frank you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world
is going on down there? What happened to the dandelions, violets,
thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance
garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought
and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms
attracted butterflies, bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to
see a vast garden of colors by now. But all I see are these green
rectangles.
St Frank: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord, the Suburbanites.
They started calling your flowers 'weeds' and go to great extent to
kill them and replace them with grass.
God: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract
butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's
temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really
want all that grass growing there?
St Frank: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and
keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning
any other plant that crops up.
God: The spring rains and cool weather probably make grass grow really
fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.
St Frank: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they
cut it - sometimes twice a week.
God: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?
St Frank: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and
put it in bags.
God: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?
God: Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow.
And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?
St Frank: Yes, sir.
God: These Suburbanites must be relieved in summer when we cut back
on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and
saves them a lot of work.
St Frank: You aren't going believe this Lord. When the grass stops
growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it
so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.
God: What nonsense! At least they kept some of the trees. That was
a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow
leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer.
In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket
to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus,
as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It's a
natural circle of life.
St Frank: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a
new circle. When the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles
and have them hauled away.
God: No! What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the
winter and keep the soil moist and loose?
St Frank: After throwing away your leaves, they go out and buy
something they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around
in place of the leaves.
God: And where do they get this mulch?
St Frank: They cut down trees and grind them up.
God: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. Saint
Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you
scheduled for us tonight?
St Kath: Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It's a real stupid movie about...
God: Never mind I think I just heard the whole story.
The music is from Ginger's Piano Place
Marilyn's Hideaway ~
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Norma Marek's Poetry
