She was generous too. Grandma shared her gift with everyone,
including me. She couldn't help herself, always excited about what
she was seeing. Pointing and asking, "Can you see the castle in the
clouds? Can you see it, honey?" Or she would ask, "Melodie do you see
the elephant in the sky?"
She dazzled me. In honesty, I didn't always see the things
Grandma called me to see or pointed out for me to find in the sky,
but I was enthralled with her enthusiasm and excitement of seeing
it. And I suppose more importantly, I wanted to see it. I wanted
the gift. I especially wanted to see her beautiful leopard
with all its spots.
She was in fact an outcast. There wasn't time for imagination in
a family of fifteen. Imagination was a hard thing for people to
embrace when they were busy trying to survive.
One day my Grandma shared the huge price she had paid for her gift
from God. Grandma looked deep in my eyes and locked on to my stare
"My imagination was a constant sore spot with my Mama."
Grandma shared that her mama was exhausted most of the time,
and became easily frustrated, and thought everything out of the
ordinary was 'nonsense'.
"Mama found my ways annoying and didn't want me around."
Grandma looked down at her lap.
My emotions stuck in my throat. I struggled to as, "Why, Grandma?
Why didn't your mama want you around?"
Grandma said that the painful conflict between her and her mama
was always present, especially st the family dinner table. As a
child grandma never got to finish a meal. Every night she would
be sent from the table. Punished for her outbursts of laughter
or for her comments.
"It was always something. Mostly, it was always something I saw
on my plate. I would look down at my plate, the same way I looked
up at the clouds or the way I looked at cobwebs. And I would always
see something.
Grandma now chuckled, as she took the time to remember back.
Recalling, "I would just look at the way my peas formed a pattern
on my plate. And I could see the shape of an owl, cat or donkey
looking up at me. And it would make me laugh." I would say, "See the
donkey, mama? My mama just couldn't see it."
Grandma became sad and siged, "Mama just thought I was causing
toruble at the table and I would be sent away with no food. And I
would have to go upstairs in the dark with no supper. I would
I would just lay and cry." Grandma sadly confessed, "My mama never
understood me".
My Grandma carried her gift for a lifetime. Her vision was different
or should I say 'more' than others. And I cherish all those special
moments with my Grandma when an exact cloud formation , or a completed
intricate cobweb, or a plate of peas...formed a special pattern
bringing forth a picture in Grandma's mind. It was clear to me,
without Grandma there to see and point these things out...that
these remarkable sightings would have gone unnoticed and unappreciated.
It was decades later in my life when it finally happened.
My beloved Grandma had been in heaven for three years when I saw my
first leopard in the sky.
I gazed in astonishment at the leopard, pausing and lingering,
slowly re-tracing it. I could hear Grandma in my mind, "It is truly
a special day when you see a leopard."
Yes, clear as day it was a leopard. In my mind, I carefully
bolded its outline to verify its existence. I completely re-traced
it again, spots and all, exactly as it appeared in the sky clouds.
It did exist! As I was savoring the leopards beauty, I breathed in
ever so deeply, tears began running down my face, as the memories
of my Grandma flooded me.
I looked up, saying aloud, "Grandma, I can see your leopard!
And it's beautiful just like you said! Oh, Grandma, thank you so much!"
Looking up one last time at the leopard in the sky, wiping my
tears away, I said,"I love you, Grandma!"
IT WAS INDEED A SPECIAL DAY!
Copyright 2002, Melodie Lynn Tilander
lynnmelodie@hotmail.com
Used with permission and my sincere thanks to the author.
