I met Elaine in the spring of 2001 and on May 9 she wrote
me that she had added me to her address book if that was ok.
Neither of us was really quite sure of just how we had met but
it seemed like we had known each other for years.

We talked about our lives, our families, interests, beliefs - a
bit of everything. The one thing that was so apparent in our
talks was her love for her family, her daddy, her lovely daughter
DeeDee, her sons Mark, Greg and Jimbo and her beautiful
grand-children. She told me how proud she was of her grand-son
Joey who had worked, saved his money and bought his own car and
how he was taking them all out to dinner that evening - something
which most young men his age would never think of doing. She
spoke of the nice, quite Mother's Day she would be spending with
her youngest son and her hope that her oldest son and his family
would come by after church. She spoke of her daughter and the
boys coming by one day and said "she is such a wonderful mother
to her children my heart just swells as I think of all she has
overcome and the proud confident young Mother she is today."

When Elaine learned that my sister and I were keeping my little
great-niece and that Mattie loved email and "working" on the
computer, she frequently sent Mattie tags for her email. She also
sent me several beautiful gifts for Mattie's web page when I was
doing it. I also have a number of email tags from Elaine and a
couple of awards which she felt I deserved on my web site. Elaine
was always sharing something - thoughts on friendship, quotes, web
sites, inspirational stories, poems, and best of all her recipes
because she knew I collected them.

Elaine also introduced me to some wonderful people on the web
such as Ally Khatt, Ali, Cookie and Francine. She was a spirit
lifter and a great listener who was always willing to help whenever
she could.

These are some things which Elaine expressed to me that stand out
in my memory of her.

"I thank God for each day of my life Sweetie because without Him
and the Angels I would not be living today.

I have learned not to question God's reasons or plans for our
lives or the lives of others because only He holds those secrets,
but to live by example is the utmost I can do."

Relationships were important to her. She wrote me that "I
watched the Essence Awards last night and to see the faces and
learn how far the black community and leaders have come and what
they have overcome just made me cry. I was never taught prejudice
at home and fondly recall an old Negro man named Mr. Pug Scott and
how well respected he was and he was always so kind to me when I
was a child and got big enough to walk to town by myself."

Elaine sent me this story which I feel sums up her thoughts and
feelings as well.

"Words To Live By"

I sat next to the bed of old man, a friend for over twenty years,
and held his hand. Hal was dying. We both knew these next few days
would be his last.

We spent time reminiscing about his long and fruitful career as
a church pastor. We talked about old friends. We chatted about his
family. And I listened as he offered sage wisdom and advice to a
member of a "younger generation."

At a lull in the conversation, Hal seemed to carefully consider
what he was about to say next. Then he squeezed my hand, gazed
intently into my eyes and whispered, just loud enough for me to
hear, "Nothing is more important than relationships."

I knew that this was somehow near the pinnacle of his life's
learnings. As he considered all of his experiences -- personal,
professional, spiritual and family, this one ultimate observation
surfaced above the rest: "Nothing is more important than relationships."

"Don't get overly caught up in your career," he seemed to be saying
to me. "Likewise, don't use people in order to achieve your goals,
then throw them away. No project, no program, no task should be
pursued at the expense of friends and family.

"Remember," I heard him saying, as clearly as if he were speaking
the words, "that in the end, only your relationships will truly
matter. Tend them well."

Writer Og Mandino puts it this way:

"Beginning today," he said, "treat everyone you meet as if he or
she were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care,
kindness, and understanding you can muster, and do so with no
thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again."

At the end of a long life, my friend Hal would have agreed.
--Author Unknown

Elaine tended her relationships well!!!!

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes
are truly endless. ~Mother Teresa~

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