I received the second poem below in an e-mail minus one verse and "Author Unknown".
I did a search for the author and wrote Chick to request permission to use the poem on
my site. He was kind enough to grant permission to use it and to explain that it was
the second half of a poem duel between him and Ginny Ellis. So here are both poems by
two very wonderful writers and you may click on their names to visit their sites.
Marilyn
A TREATISE ON THE COLOR OF CATS
The next feline on my premises,
Must be in contrast to my floor,
For dark cats on dark carpeting,
Quoth I, "NEVER - NEVERMORE!"
I am sorely tried from tripping,
O'er an unseen lump upon my rug,
It meows! It shrieks! It jumps! It leaps!
I fall upon it with a THUD!
As the lump and I recover,
Unscrambling then begins,
We must instantly distinguish,
Between our legs and limbs.
Composure reestablished,
With dignity intact,
I grab the Yellow Pages
To find a place to dye my cat!
P.S.
I never saw a chartreuse cat,
Soon I may just see one,
But I can tell you here and now,
I'd rather see than be one!
Virginia (Ginny) Ellis
I'd Rather Eat Dog Food Than Raise Another Human
by Lucy Ellis aka Ginny's Cat
When I was just a kitten
My mother said to me
"Someday, you'll have a human pet
They're cuddly and they're free"
She said "They're awful clumsy
They stumble, trip, and fall
They cannot even see a Cat
Sleeping in a hall"
"They act as if they own the place
They're bossy every day
You'll learn you must ignore them
It's just the human way"
So, I took my Mom's advice
I got a human pet
I have named her Ginny
And she's cuddly as they get
Owning Ginny's been some fun
And usually we are friends
But she can be a handful
I'm glad she wasn't twins
Humans really aren't too bright
Their brains are small, I guess
While trying hard to train her
I've not had much success
She doesn't seem to understand
How things are 'posed to be
She insists on being headstrong
Not mellowed out, like me
She hasn't learned to lick herself
To keep her body clean
And when it comes to purring
She isn't very keen
She plays on her computer
Just wasting time away
When playing with a ball of string
Could really make her day
She's seems content to sit there
Banging on those keys
While I inspect her ankles
Checking them for fleas
When my neighbors visit me
We sneak out to the bushes
We laugh about our human pets
While sitting on our tushes
I suspect she's sniffing catnip
As one day she got so high
She tried to throw me in the sink
'Twas filled with chartreuse dye
Ginny's getting up in years
And becoming rather slow
There are a lot of cats out there
Who'd say she has to go
But I'm inclined to keep her
I've considered this a lot
Why train another human pet
When I love the one I've got
by Chick Velasco
Dropnhook@aol.com
© Copyright 5/18/00
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